Simplicity

There is this one man who is extremely dear to my heart. We met over 20 yrs ago, on a whelm I guess you can say. He was the "extra" man in one of my good friend's life and she and I were pretty cool. Cool enough to be roommates, I might add.

Ok...anyway it just seemed like whenever her #1 would come over to the house #2 would call and she would always be like "could you just talk to him until I get rid of #1".

Harmless right? It was at that time but then after a while #2 started to call and ask for me.

"Me?"

Hey buddy you are seeing my friend sooo what's the deal...right? He would say...he enjoyed my conversation because I actually had something to talk about. Ok so cool...no problem.

We started to hang out...just hanging out. Like going down to the riverfront and listening to music while sitting on the hood of the car starring up at the moon. Ahhhh good times..no pressure. Now please keep in mind we both were18ish(I moved out of my parents house right after graduation from high school) in the late 80's.

This guy was oh sooo cool really and over time a relationship did develop...but not until I moved out from being my friend's roommate and not right away. She and I are still cool to this day believe it or not.

I would stay back and attend a local community college for a year and then transferred to a university (due to financial reasons) and work two part time jobs. He would be one of the first in his family to attend college on a full scholarship in the Arts and thus began our journey.

During this first year of being declared independent, we barely stayed in touch and many events took place that would cause us to run into each other. Like when he crossed over to become a Sigma...the celebration took place at an university which I had friends who attended and I was there visiting. Lo' and behold...he spots me in the crowd to tell me the news. When he and a friend was in a car accident...my phone number was the only number that he could recall and boy was I on pins and needles when in the wee hours of the morning I receive a call from a hospital almost 100 miles from where I lived.

I took care of him...nursed him back to health (smiling to myself).....

Over the years though, we both moved on while staying in touch at the same time. I went off to college and a year later served in the military during Desert Storm. Got married. Had a family. Became widowed.

He finished school...never married but had a couple of children which by the way bare the same years of birth as mine. Yes, our children are the exact same ages give or take a couple of months.

Presently we talk and he seems to think I am spoiled...maybe just a bit however I think that it is more like " I know what makes me smile"---started to say happy but had to change it because what makes us as humans happy is still out of grasp for most.

I told him that although we were young at the initial time of our meeting....what we shared was pure and untainted. He seems to think that it was puppy love and I totally disagree.

I say this because....imagine back to your first love...you were young, carefree, impulsive with NO BAGGAGE. You did not know what it felt like to have trust issues...to feel worthless....to over accentuate in order to feel pretty. Who was worried about how much vanity would really cost us and being a authenticated gold digger was not even a thought. We were just content to be in that person's company. To share a laugh. The simplicity of it all. It wasn't a bother for the other person to call you several times during the day and you lit up when you answered the phone because you KNEW for a fact that you were the ONLY one.

I miss that sooo much and I only felt that with him. Now, our children are growing up and about to send our oldest two off to college in a couple of years and I long for that closeness once again.

I reside in the south and he in the north. He would rather I come there....and I would rather he come here.

Maybe one day we will figure this thing out.....

In the meantime whenever I see the street lights begin to power up...or I am in my backyard and the fireflies begin to glow...I long for a better day and simpler times...when double dutch would prove who the baddest b*tch was on the block....and hop scotch was prove of agility...popping wheelies on your bike and how fast and hard you threw the dodge ball earned you respect at least 4 streets over......

And that special man who bring these memories into retrospect.